Confusion of the Solution.

I have stopped writing stuffs for a while because I promised myself happiness somehow I always pick up a pen or open MS WORD unofficially only when it gets darn uneasy and there are no ears for my cry. I have come too far to hate my life and I am too addicted to the type it is so never mind. Lately, I met people and I happened to have redefined joy. Joy is just a word its the people that make it real. I hate the world like lonely and I hate it even more when its me who is it. Right now, I wish I had a robot toy who could see the state of my mind and understand the reason why its messed up. I am tired of talking to myself. Life has been so rainbow-like recently and  by rainbow I mean so many faces it has and its people well I may be a poor observer at that because I hardly understand how can one single person change with every situation, the generation today and the generation passed call it kalyug and for the sake of that they say anything can happen. I personally think its upto u what can happen in your life and no generation can undo what you want to do so let apart the thoughts that are bookish right now I could really use a smile. At work it gets kind of uneasy to look at people in pain and then also it hurts to look people have so much and us nothing. The struggle, man its got because its everywhere and with everyone. I have not met a single human as such who feels happy about all and all. So, there comes a turn in your life that your friends leave the road that you are on because some other road fancy them and they think that we are wrong just because it is not what they wished for and then again your family becomes tensed about you walking alone they want you safe that is a bit obvious really sweet of them but that forbids you from doing anything that you want to. I am not scared of anything today because of these people that I have but somehow they hold my hand too hard for their care is greater than my struggle. I do not wish to hurt them and I have no idea how to do it without them because if I don't let go of them there wont be anymore stepping ahead all of it gonna ice up and be rigidly paused. Right now at this moment I remember movies I envy how simple and great life seems there, have the director ever thought that life isn't as simple as that? It's beautifully horrible. Imagine a nightmare that scares you to death but you wish to see it still. In spite all the things that go wrong some other things come up and heal the pain but the memories just don't seem to fade they hurt you time to time and here again I am haunted, haunted by those memories and ouch! loneliness is taking its revenge see.! Its hurting me.