I'm pretty much an ultra emotional person and my heart gets melting too soon. I trust people easily and I let dem do me wrong my family is too proctective for me and my friends care like anything.. When am out late I get 15+ fluent msgs and numerous calls on my cellfone of which 10 are of my mom and rest of my best friend. Last time that I have known what its meant to be have a tough time was when I was 18yrs old. I am 22 now and all I know is how to be stupid and smile even if someone calls u horrible things behind ur back. I understand dey might be backbiting but I chose dem in my life thats my fault and aint there's. I am bad with making choices but there are some things I've chosed in my life that I am never going to regret. My best friend, the person I m in love with, My family, My mother (although later two aint my choice but they sure are mine). So I've been a little girl for longer than I have known, I must be the eldest sister in d house and they take care of me as am being the youngest. They never gave me a chance to grow up and I never felt the need. I work in state bank of india I earn myself but still it all looks unbeleivable to the world and they end up asking me "how do you handle?". I just laugh. When people start putting their faith in you, you get responsible yourself and I think thats what help me sort out everything. The joy of my life has been in those few people who have kept me like a princess. I started writting this blog because I'm hurt, No its not anyone's fault. I am beaten by how much I will lose if I lose anyone of my people, I have always been taken care of in such a way by each one of them that even being professionaly dependent and secure am totally dependent on them. Even though I've my own life now I can't walk out on them and I can't do what my heart asks me to, I want to do what I am told and purposefully. Its good feeling to see them happy, Its the greatest feeling there is and I wouldn,t want to lose that. I want to tell you a little secret: I am a horrible person inside, I have a cute face but I envy, I get jealous, I have my greed, I am short tempered, I dont think before I speak, I have hurted people who most love me, I have hurted my friends, I let things go when I shouldn't have. I am alone in the home today and when I look around at the house my heart tells me.. My! this home used to be heaven in dose days. Such a big house and so empty. I really wish I could take all that back, but a slip in knot ends up causing death. At this moment I am ready to be scolded but I know when they will scold me I will feel bad about it again. This is pathetic of how someone can be something at a moment and entirely different other moment. You want to know about this girl in my life? Shes the strong girl of mine and shes what on my mind, I have seen things taking corners in front of her. that strong. Shes weak today and I am helpless. I dont get at times what to say.. I am luckless these days. for a few days.. a vacation from happiness. A vacation from life. A vacation to being lonely, away from everyone. But I promise I will be back. By your side Always there.
